A Planner’s Diary in May
May’s Theme: Self Exploration Through Seasons of Change
When I set out to start my own planning practice, it was driven by a desire to create something intentional that reflected how I feel about what financial planning can deliver on. I wanted to choose the clients I worked with and give them more: more direct interaction, more connectivity throughout the year, more opportunities to anticipate what they each need before life forces reaction.
And those motivations ring truer than ever.
What I did not fully anticipate was how much entrepreneurship itself would ask me to change.
While my reasons for creating Hyla remain steadfast, the way I relate to business ownership has evolved with every passing month. A good friend, who also founded her own financial coaching practice, recently explained, “Business ownership is a constant journey of self-improvement.” I have found that to be profoundly true.
The demands, challenges, and puzzles of today will not be those of tomorrow. Just when I think I have adapted to one phase, a new one arrives asking something different of me. I am learning the value of emotional resiliency, and self-awareness in a way I do not think I could have fully understood before starting this journey in business ownership.
I am also beginning to understand how my identity is shifting during this period of change.
I am no longer plugged into an existing structure with coworkers, a boss, and all that comes with being an employee. There are parts of that identity I let go of with ease, and some parts I still find myself processing. Change, even when chosen, still asks us to release versions of ourselves that once felt familiar and comfortable.
And that realization has deepened the way I think about those I work with.
Many of my clients and friends are navigating sand shifting beneath their feet. Change is disruptive, and it is often sudden. It can gnaw at your nervous system, steal your sleep, shift your appetite, and push you inward. It can lead a person to mistake isolation for safety: everything is already changing too much, so I need to retreat to something that isn’t. Change and grief are often intertwined.
We feel it when we lose a person, a relationship, a home, or a version of life we thought we would have by now. We feel it when identity changes: wanting children and not being able to have them, changing from a wife to a single person, watching a parent decline, or noticing changes in ourselves that make living a quality life more difficult.
Grief through change can also show up in the moments we are told are “good.” Retirement. Children leaving the house and launching into their own lives. Becoming a new parent. Selling a business.
There is often an unspoken grief layered into these transitions because change, even when welcomed, almost always involves letting something go that was core to the old version of ourselves. Navigating humanhood means very few experiences land cleanly as either evoking Good Feelings or Bad Feelings. Most of what we move through exists somewhere in gratitude mixed with sadness, excitement mixed with fear, growth mixed with discomfort.
And maybe part of self-exploration is learning not to rush ourselves out of those uncomfortable in-between emotions. There could be something important waiting for us if we are willing to sit with the complexity long enough to understand what an experience is trying to show us. In our personal finances and in life, can the deepest clarity come after we stop resisting change and instead choose to learn about ourselves through it?
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Now, onto what I’ve been reading and listening to this past month.
On the page: Strangers by Belle Burden. This memoir explores the unraveling of Belle’s 21-year marriage and the identity shifts that followed. Beyond the emotional layers, it is a reminder of how deeply intertwined our relationships, finances, and sense of self become. She is also here to remind her reader that you can always choose to start again in life, even when the pain feels insurmountable. I found her perspective captivating and finished the book in a single weekend.
On repeat: As a 90s kid, it’s important to brush off the classics from time to time. “Hand in My Pocket” by Alanis Morissette has found its way into my running playlist… I'm free but I'm focused, I'm green but I'm wise…
Can any lyric sum up learning the ropes of entrepreneurship better?
Until next time,
Claire
This material is intended for educational purposes only. You should always consult a financial, tax, or legal professional familiar with your unique circumstances before making any financial decisions. Nothing in this material constitutes a solicitation for the sale or purchase of any securities. Any mentioned rates of return are historical or hypothetical in nature and are not a guarantee of future returns. Past performance does not guarantee future performance. Future returns may be lower or higher. Investments involve risk. Investment values will fluctuate with market conditions, and security positions, when sold, may be worth less or more than their original cost. Advisory Services offered through Avise Financial Cooperative Inc, a Registered Investment Adviser with the SEC. Registration of an investment adviser does not imply a certain level of skill or training.
